Category: Dating and Relationships
I just messed up a great relationship with a girl that I really love. I lied and pointed out all her bad points and that really hurt her. I also went way to fast even when I knew she felt uncomfortable.
Please help me with ideas on how I can get her to trust me and get back the good times we had together. I feel like an ass and a creep for treating her so horrible.
Thank you.
I'm a bit confused. You lied and pointed out all her bad points? If they were truly her bad points, and you pointed them out, how did you lie? I know what you're getting at, but stop and think about it for a moment. Either you meant what you said, or you didn't. Did you point out her bad points, or did you lie? as far as getting her to trust you again, if she still keeps in touch, just be as patient with her as you can. Express your remorse. Let her know how much you feel the loss, and that you realize that you screwed up. Check out my earlier post on the love hurts board. Things said in anger have a bad way of coming back to bite you. After you drive a nail in, you can pull it out, but the whole is still there. In other words, the damage is done, and you can only hope that the other person can get past it. We're only human, and we all have had situations where our emotions get the better of us, so I do understand. I wish you lots of luck. Just remember that she might have quite a bit of hurt and anger to express. Best to try to be understanding and allow her to express it. Give her some validation.
maybe he meant that he lied to her, and on top of that, pointed out her bad characteristics, habits, and/or behaviors.
Ah! hadn't quite thought of it like that. Makes sense though. Wouldn't it be grand if we all had system restore points, just like a computer, so we could go back to the moment just before the terrible deed was done? I've been there, many times.
I do like the idea of having a system restore point. LOL.
It would sure get rid of a lot of the hurt that goes on, whether in relationships or otherwise.
How about that system check before you make changes? Why would you point out all a girls bad points, and go to fast unless you were trying to hurt her for some reason? When you set out on this you know one of two thing, the person will think you are right, and say they will change, or tell you to get lost. As has been said the hole is in the wall, so if the patch doesn't work well you have a hole, and if the patch does work you never have a perfect wall again. You can say I'm sorry and she may except it, but will you do it again?
Only one person can answer that question...
True enough, but it's not her, so. Smile.
Exactly.
love is the only way to show you care
I agree and I do love him all his sweetness and attitude lol. Thanks everyone, and thanks my wonderful prince; you rock xoxo love you :-)!!
If we were allowed a point of restoration, it'd certainly get rid of all the baggage that is sometimes tough to deal with in relationships. It'd be much easier to trust and love one another.
Love starts from friendship, and then builds up and up. This is where I am at the momement, me and her are friends. I want to tell her how I realy feel about her.